Vegas isn’t just a city. It’s an altar – and money is the sacrament.

Whether you earned it, inherited it, married into it, finessed it, or made it the hard way – money gets to show off here. Old money in Burberry and buttery Italian leather. New money in Louis Vuitton and Genesis G90s. Money buys sequins and speedos. It snorts caviar and mainlines Champagne. It tips in Cartier, vanishes in chips, and still buys three more bottles just to look cool.

This isn’t a guidebook. It’s a confessional of all the ways people with money – dirty, delicious, limitless money – Find the ways to blow it f*ck it and just have a great time. This is what makes Vegas the most fun place on Earth!

1. “I Cashed Out at 3AM and Bought a Bentley by 4”

– Wallace, Gambler Turned God

“Won $312K on the high-limit slots at Bellagio. My girlfriend cried. I laughed like Scarface. I tipped the floor attendant $10K, got comped the penthouse, and ordered crab and shellfish towers from room service. At 3:42 a.m., I bought a white Bentley convertible and drove it barefoot down the Strip, blasting ‘Mo Money Mo Problems.’ I’d do it again tomorrow, but I have to go back to my job doing car detailing in Queens.”

2. “Granny Didn’t Want to Die Rich – So She Blew $65K in 48 Hours”

– Violetta, Matriarch Gone Mildly Mad

“My 78-year-old grandmother decided she was done living ‘modestly.’ She liquidated her CD account and booked a three-bedroom suite at The Venetian for my mother, herself and me. Day one: helicopter to the Grand Canyon. Day two: VIP booth at Magic Mike Live. Day three: matching tooth gems. She tipped the bellhop a crisp $100-bill and said, ‘I’m not going to let Chase Bank have the last laugh.’ I’m pretty sure her condo in a Florida 55+ community is fully paid off, though.”

3. “Burning Man Was the Teaser – Vegas Was the Climax”

– Brad, Dusty Boots, Clean Sheets, Wild Nights

“I left Burning Man covered in glitter with mezcal oozing out my pores, then rolled into Vegas with a tech bro and a Brazilian DJ. We booked a villa at Palms and brought the entire afterparty with us – circus performers, a shaman, two goats (don’t ask). Hit the Sphere at midnight, ended up at a silent disco in a $40,000 suite where a guy – who may or may not have been Diplo – DJ’d shirtless until sunrise. I still don’t know who paid for it.” 

4. “EDM, F1, and a $9K Tequila Flight – Don’t Try This Sober”

– Denis, the Festival Bender With a Billionaire Vibe

“I came for Electric Daisy Carnival, stayed for Formula One, and forgot where I left my morals. My hotel? Skyloft at MGM Grand. My outfit? Elvis-impersonator jumpsuit. My tab? Unclear, but my bottle girl had abs and a PhD. We watched the F1 race from a rooftop with ice sculptures and drone fireworks. Then hit Omnia where I dropped $9K on Clase Azul Ultra just to watch it sparkle in the light. Money doesn’t buy happiness – but f*ck it it does buy the VIP wristband, and it will get you laid or blown or spanked or whipped or dominated or humiliated, or whatever else that turns you on because it all available if you have a lot of money you’d like to f*ck it and you’re in Las Vegas (Sin City).”

5. “I Dated a Raider. Then a Golden Knight. Then a Guy From Cirque Who Can Do Backflips in Bed.”

– Draya, the Vegas Roster Queen

“Vegas has this underrated perk: it’s crawling with hot, rich, bendy people. One week I was courtside at a Summer League game. The next, I was at a pool party with a Raiders lineman feeding me oysters. And last Thursday? Got picked up (literally) by a Cirque acrobat with a six-pack and a Tesla. I’m not dating – I’m curating memories cause fuck it you only live once.”

6. “I Tipped the Caddy in Cartier”

– Christian, the Classy Degenerate Golfer

“I don’t really play golf – I just like spending $500 a hole. Booked Shadow Creek with a host, wore Dior cleats, had a Bloody Mary in one hand and a Cohiba in the other. My caddy read the green perfectly. I didn’t have cash, so I gave him my Cartier bracelet. Said, ‘It’s worth more than you’ll make this month.’ He said, ‘Noted. Wanna play again tomorrow?’”

7. “I’m Not Famous – I Just Tip Like I Am”

– Ray, the Regular Joe With Weekend Baller Energy

“I’m a plumber from Idaho. Hit Vegas twice a year and pretend I’m Drake. Got my sports bet payout last trip – $22K – and immediately booked a booth at XS, a room at Wynn, and a full suit from Tom Ford. I bought a round of shots for an entire bachelorette party. I’m still married. But in Vegas? I’m single, rich, and always wearing sunglasses indoors. F*ck it when I get paid I get laid. They think I’m Drake.”

8. “I Took a Sphere Selfie, Got Married by an Elvis Hologram, Then Spent $15K at a Dispensary”

– Jesse, the Metaverse Millionaire

“Vegas is the only place where you can go from bleeding-edge tech to vintage kitsch in five blocks. The Sphere was unreal – like stepping into a lucid, liquid dream. Then I married my girlfriend at a chapel where the officiant was a holographic Elvis who sounded suspiciously like Morgan Freeman. We celebrated with truffle gummies and private chef paella at our Airbnb penthouse. She’s not my wife anymore, but that night? Legendary. She got f*cked, I got f*cked, I f*cked my money and if I had to do it all again I wouldn’t change a f*cking thing!” 

9. “MILF Money Is Real, Baby – and I Spent Mine on Magic Mike and a Custom Birkin”

– Cece, Divorced, Delicious, and Dangerous

“He left me for his Pilates instructor. I left with the boat, the condo, and enough alimony to make Vegas my runway. Flew in on JSX, got a suite at NoMad, and said ‘yes’ to everything. Sat front row at Magic Mike and had Channing’s understudy whisper ‘You’re a goddess’ in my ear. Bought a Birkin in Vegas pink. Went home but left my ex’s AmEx Black behind. Let him try denying the charges f*ck him f*ck his money. I had a great f*cking time and that’s all that f*cking matters!”

10. “Fear and Loathing, But Make It Designer”

– Austin, The Wild Ride with a Platinum Card

“My buddy’s a hedge fund guy. I’m the guy who says yes to everything. Started with shrooms at Area15. Then a ride on a mechanical bull. Then a strip club that looked like a planetarium. Then…well, I woke up in a hot tub with a tattoo. I’m pretty sure we rented a giraffe. The driver still texts me memes. He says I he’ll never f*cking forget what I can’t remember. What a f*cking paradox!”

11. “She Was a Stripper, a Psychic, and My Life Coach”

– Lori, a Journey of Self-Discovery 

“Her name was Vega. She met my gaze from the stage like she already knew my secrets. I was three martinis in at Crazy Horse III – wearing vintage Halston and a wedding ring I knew needed to go. She slid into my lap like a question mark and whispered, ‘You’re in transition.’ I thought she meant my divorce. But no. She pulled a tarot deck from her clutch and read me like scripture. Said I was due for a transformation. I tipped her in twenties and kissed her. We ended up in a penthouse suite with candles, sage, and French jazz. She made me laugh. Then cry. Then orgasm. I woke up the next morning and realized – maybe the Strip isn’t the only thing that’s fluid.”

12. “Vegas Made Me Famous, Then Made Me Broke, Then Made Me Famous Again”

– Trevor, the Wannabe Who Made It (Sort Of)

“Went viral after jumping into a Bellagio fountain in a sequined jumpsuit. Got comped a room, asked to host a drag brunch, then got fired for ordering $3,000 worth of espresso martinis on a corporate tab. Now I’m bartending at a new spot downtown and people still ask for selfies. My advice? Always say yes. And never open your own tab.”

13. 13. “From Adelaide to Aria – I Came for a Conference, Left with a Mistress”

– Donald, the Australian Magnate’s American Affair

“I flew in from Adelaide for a clean three days of tech networking, but Vegas had other plans. Her name was Rosette. Red lips. Silk dress. She met me at the Baccarat tables like a scene out of a noir film. By midnight we were sipping Louis XIII in a Sky Villa at Aria, overlooking the city like royalty about to commit treason. She wore diamonds and asked for nothing – except everything. I missed my flight. Twice.”

14. “I Don’t Win – I Collect Experiences”

– Charles, the Heir With a Taste for Theater

“My grandfather built railroads. I spend dividends on velvet booths and private performances. Vegas, to me, is immersive art. I rent out a Cirque show once a year for twenty hand-picked guests. The champagne is pre-ordered. The pianist plays Satie. One year I had the dancers spell out ‘La Fortune Sourit Aux Audacieux’ in sequins across the floor. I didn’t take a single photo. Why would I? If I want, I’ll just do it all again but different. That’s how I roll! F*ckit!”

15. “She Wore Vintage Valentino and Only Ordered Caviar”

– Ethan, the Recluse With a Room at The Waldorf

“She doesn’t live in Vegas. She appears in it. Twice a year, always at The Waldorf. No casino. No noise. Just suites scented like lilacs and views that look painted. We met at the private cigar tasting. She didn’t smoke – just wanted to hear the stories. We dined at Joël Robuchon in silence and danced to vinyl in her suite. I asked her name. She stroked my pocket square and said, ‘Why ruin it?’”

16. “The suite was stacked — a billionaire’s playground dressed up like a football game.”

– Thierry, Faking it ’Til He Makes It 

“I don’t know how I even got in. I mean, Christian McCaffrey was two boxes over, and I’m pretty sure I saw Paul George sipping tequila with a guy who looked a lot like the CEO of Fanatics. This wasn’t just Raiders vs. Chiefs. This was Allegiant Stadium, box level. A private chef slicing wagyu in the corner and an endless stream of Ace of Spades. A statuesque redhead sunk into the leather couch beside me – she flew in that morning from New York, smelling like Baccarat Rouge and ambition. When Mahomes threw his second touchdown, she whispered something in my ear that made me miss the third. Post-halftime, Usher slid in with a couple of his people. Totally chill. He gave me a nod like we knew each other. We didn’t. But I took it. That’s what Vegas does — it makes you feel like you belong in places you couldn’t even name last week.”

 

Vegas doesn’t care how you got your money. Only that you’re willing to part with it in the name of joy, excess, heartbreak, reinvention, or just straight-up bad decisions.

Money isn’t just power here. It’s foreplay. It’s spectacle. It’s the Champagne-fueled “yes” at 2 a.m. that becomes the best story of your life.

So go ahead. Be the baller. Be the legend. Find the MILF (Money I like to F*ck). Because in Vegas, you don’t have to make memories – you can buy them one at a time and stack them up like cards in a blackjack shoe and then later pull them out anytime you want to enjoy! That’s Vegas Baby! One big memory factory!